Unconscious Food Talk: How Words Shape Your Relationship with Food
LET'S TALK FOOD TALK!
What is it and why does it matter?!
It seems obvious right? Food talk is literally how we talk about food.
It is pretty simple, but because food talk is such a big part of our culture, there's a lot of nuance and even a lot of potential for harm.
Let's get into it.
The way we talk about food impacts US and OTHERS.
A lot of the time when we say things about food (or about our body) we don't even really realize we're saying it. This is UNCONSCIOUS food talk.
I see this with my private 1:1 clients all the time. They'll be working to break the belief that some foods are "good" and some foods are "bad" and then passively say something like...
"I was so bad yesterday for eating 2 cookies"
"I'm afraid to keep bad foods in the house, I might eat them."
How often do you hear other people talk about food this way?
I hear it ALL THE TIME!! It's super common.
Most of us have been taught to think and talk about food this way, so there's zero shame in this! The important thing to remember is that negative food talk HURTS, but you can change it!!!
If you want to find mental peace and freedom around food, you OF COURSE have to change your beliefs about food.
So imagine your whole life you've been taught to believe that certain foods are "good" and certain foods are "bad"
You're trying to change this belief, but you keep saying certain foods are good and certain foods are bad.
You're going to have a hard time shifting this belief.
When we use negative food talk we're reinforcing to our subconscious mind that we do in fact believe that certain foods are good and certain foods are bad.
Sooo.... want to change your beliefs about food?
Start by changing your food talk.
Ok, so food talk impacts YOU, but it also impact everyone around you!!!
Let's get into the nuances here.
Imagine these 2 scenarios....
Scenario 1:
You're out to dinner with your friend, let's call her Jane, and she says “I'm so hungry but I've eaten so bad this week, I'll probably just be good and order a salad.”
She orders the salad and then after dinner mentions she wants ice cream, so you two stop at your favorite ice cream shop. She orders an ice cream sundae and says "I know I was going to be good today, but I just couldn't stop thinking about a sweet treat."
We've heard this before, right?! Maybe we've even said this before.
Uncomfy.
Now imagine scenario 2:
You go to dinner with your friend Jane, and she says “I've heard great things about this restaurant and heard they have live music too, hopefully we'll catch a band with dinner.” When Jane's done eating, she puts her silverware down and says "that was really good." You two enjoy the live music she hoped for for the rest of the night.
Scenario #1 felt stressful, right? You hanging out with a friend, turned into worrying about her guilt about eating. Scenario #2 sounded like a good time! Some food, some friends and some live music, what could be better?!
It's important to know when we use words and phrases such as...
"clean eating"
"empty calories"
"skinny"
"good" or "bad" foods
....it's harmful for ourselves and those around us.
Let's break this down a little further…
Clean eating implies that there is such a thing as dirty eating and...there's not! Usually this wording is used to avoid refined and processed food and can even lead to restrictive eating and food shaming. It also can come with an "elitist" mindset and is not accessible to everyone. Thumbs down.
Empty calories just...don't exist! There are no calories that completely lack nutrient and caloric intake is your body's main source of energy! You NEED calories but empty calories are usually used to describe foods high in sugar/fat insinuating we should not be consuming those foods. Here's the kicker to this one - some high calorie foods are actually MORE nutritious than low calorie foods. And sometimes food is just food, so high or low calorie foods are not the focus when you're making memories with loved ones.
Skinny...the dreaded word! When a food has 'skinny' in the labeling it's just another word for dieting. It also implies that the goal is "to be skinny" and consuming those products will make that happen. ICK. Skinny popcorn, skinny ice cream, skinny margaritas - 'skinny' is a marketing play and let's be honest, doesn't always taste as good!
Good and bad. This is always a heavy one because it's most telling of our mental relationship with food and our bodies. Ordering a salad doesn't make you "good" and eating a piece of pie doesn't make you a bad person. Our food does not have the ability to influence our moral principles and yet we give it the power to dictate our mood, relationships, mental health and overall health. NO THANK YOU!
So, let's go back to Scenario #2 Jane. An emotionally regulated, intuitive eater enjoying a night out with a friend and some music!
We all want to be that and we all deserve that. So let's talk about how we can BE that!
This is going to sound like a hot take but...FOOD IS JUST FOOD!
It's not bad, good, clean, skinny, or empty. It provides nutrients for your body and we should be ditching any negative words we associate with it!
Don't wait on cultivating and fostering a positive relationship with food, check out my Ditching Diet Culture Workbook for a FREE taste of how you can break free from dieting.
